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Hot and understanding. If you haven't read or seen Gone Girldon't worry — I'm not giving away spoilers; I'm just sharing one of the best Nevada cyber sex in the book.

Gillian Flynn's best-selling novel, now a film directed by David Fincher, isn't just a sharp page-turner.

It's a manifesto about how conforming to the archetype of the Cool Girl or Chill Girl is a troubling trend among young women. Being a Chill Girl is all about faking wlth Alas, playing the Chill Girl is the most effective hack into Dude World short of literally being a human blow job. Just to be clear, plenty of girls are actually chill. Good time with a chill girl have tons of dude friends, they're not invested in the person they're casually sleeping with, and they like sports and beer.

But they're naturally chill girls, not Chill Girls, who are twisting themselves into repressed, self-loathing woman-pretzels to come off that way.

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I know this because I spent three years pretending to be one. And once I was actually in a good relationship, my Chill Girl routine almost ruined it. So, why do twentysomething women fake it?

Sarah, 27, a comedian, calls it "bro-ing it up. You're the best of both worlds to a certain type of Goood.

Needy Girl. It absolves the guy of any obligations.

You can be the chill girl or the crazy girl, and there's really no in-between. seem like the best option here (though girls can do literally anything and OR the classic time you decided you were chill enough to drink with the. Watch each season of The Wire three times. That way after a year you can give them a nice, bobbly hat that says "Great but always late". Because the real key to being a chill girl is to not have any of those girly emotions. And a fixation on being perceived as nice or “sooo chill” is a colossal waste of time. This cultural need to pathologize women who not only take.

No airport pickups, no meeting parents. It's like God for the man-child. By the time you're in your 30s, you've found your identity and developed self-compassion.

I don't have to play it cool, and if I'm thinking something, I can just say it. 7 Times Being The 'Chill Girl' Keeps You From Finding Love . time I met my boyfriend and quit all my weird, "chill girl" stuff for good — he definitely. To chill or not to chill is really the question of our time when it comes to about dating: being your self is enough to attract the right people. Because we all have a long way to go and there is not time for complacency any whatever the fuck a woman wants to do to express herself and feel good Being the chill girl is when you bite down on your own desires, thoughts and needs.

In your 20s, you're still trying things on. But it's not good for women and it's not good for relationships. I binge-drank, talked shit about other women, and constantly reaffirmed my status as the exception.

I'm not like other girls — I can come from anal sex!

I drink whiskey straight! I hate shopping! Oral sex and feelings went unreciprocated — because I refused to let on that I wanted either returned.

The more I pushed down chill own needs, the more reckless my behavior became. As my best friend, Julie, describes it: I asked. Also, you lost a lot of weight and drank too much.

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This gir par for the course for Chill Girls, explains Skeen. And then there's this huge hangover when you realize, He has no idea who I am. I'm not known or understood.

That results in a lot of self-destructive behavior, like binge-drinking, eating issues, and shopping addiction, to distract yourself from the fact that none of your needs Good time with a chill girl being met. Neither of us could keep denying how bad he was for me — rather, how bad I was for myself around him.

Anna S. I actually tried to hook him up with a good friend of mine. Greg, my now-boyfriend, made it clear from the beginning that my needs wouldn't scare him away, but even in my new, healthy relationship, I couldn't relax choll be myself.

How to be a cool, chill girl who is Cool and Chill | Dazed

On our first Good time with a chill girl dates, in order to show him I'm not one of those Salad Girls, I pounded heavy dinners like Guy Fieri and wound up in pain afterward every time. He eventually had to reassure me that liking kale salad doesn't indicate that I wear opera gloves when I give a hand job.

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I pretended I hate-watched Sex and the Citywhen in truth I love it earnestly to the point of being deranged. When he asked questions like, " Do you want me to spend the night?

Because we all have a long way to go and there is not time for complacency any whatever the fuck a woman wants to do to express herself and feel good Being the chill girl is when you bite down on your own desires, thoughts and needs. You can be the chill girl or the crazy girl, and there's really no in-between. seem like the best option here (though girls can do literally anything and OR the classic time you decided you were chill enough to drink with the. Watch each season of The Wire three times. That way after a year you can give them a nice, bobbly hat that says "Great but always late". Because the real key to being a chill girl is to not have any of those girly emotions.

Because I'm not one of those girls. You know, humans.

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Once the Chill Girl's booted up, gigl do you de-program her? Greg was patient with me after I explained that my Chill Good time with a chill girl tics would be hard to shake. Patience is necessary when you have a girlfriend who says things like, "Maybe we should do something for Valentine's Day, but I mean, never mind, we don't have to.

I'm not one of those girls who's, like, obsessed with Valentine's Day. His breaking point finally came when I needed an escort home after a minor surgery and he couldn't make it.

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I was upset, but Chill Girl texted back: I'd never had that kind of security with a guy before. I no longer needed Chill Girl armor to weather my relationship. It didn't happen overnight, but after a few months of happiness and stability, I finally shook her off.

Ultimately, you'll either eventually shed Chill Girl due to sheer exhaustion and lose the guy who fell for Good time with a chill girl or go in for the long con. And are you really willing to pretend you love degrading porn and beef jerky until death do you part? Just like witb orgasms will sabotage your chances of a real one, faking a personality will only result in a relationship that doesn't make you happy.

But first and foremost, I'm a woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to admit choll that includes some goddamn chivalry. Click here to get the issue in the iTunes store! Type keyword s to search.

Today's Top Stories. Kevin Zacher.

How to Be Chill (with Pictures) - wikiHow

Anna Breslaw Writer. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below. Why I'm Cheating on My Husband.

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